Hard Underbelly  

The official news spot for Hard Underbelly.


 
I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SPELL A WORD I WANTED TO USE

Mood: Amused
Music: My Weakness; by Moby

I was just checking out the site logs for Hard Underbelly when I noticed something amusing. All the people at ssboards posting how much my comic sucked to show others that it sucked seriously pumped up the hit count for my web page. And since I noticed that not all of the people at ssboards are jackasses, there's bound to be a few people that don't find my comic really shitty, and out of them, a few people that actually end up liking it. So I guess it's true what they say, there's no such thing as bad free press. It's still press.

Ending Music: Aeroplane; by Bjork

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  posted by Tristan @ 9:54 AM


Friday, June 20, 2003  

 
GO THROUGH LIFE

Mood: Awake
Music: Jolene; by the White Stripes

There is a new comic up. Yay for me. This officially exhausts the supply of comics that I got stocked up last weekend. So this weekend I'll just have to do the whole thing all over again. Seriously, writing a webcomic is not for people who like to finish things. 'Cause untill you've finished the entire series, which in my case, will probably take a couple of years, your work is never done. It just keeps going. So you never really feel like you're done.

I'm going back home this weekend. I shall be returning on Sunday, for my new class begins on Monday. Speaking of which, I had a hell of a time paying for it. They've go something going on with their fiscal year, which ends on July 1st or something. Anyway, the whole and half of it is that I was sent back and forth between the same two offices about five times. It was kind of like:

office 1:
"Have you paid?"
"Yes."
"Go to this office and then come back."

office 2:
"Hi. They told me to come here."
"Here's a piece of paper. Take it back to them."

office 1:
"Hi again. They gave me this piece of paper."
"I don't know what this is."
"Um, okay."
"Go back and have them write a note on it, then we can give you your bus sticker."
"Uh, okay. But I will be able to attend classes, right?"
"Yes, just go to your class as normal."

office 2:
"I'm back. They want you to write a note saying that yes, I have the money for this."
"Excuse me for a minute." pause "Here you go."

office 1:
"I'm back. Here's the piece of paper with a note on it."
"Here's your bus sticker."

I'm not exaggerating, that's how long it took. That's how many trips it was. The worst was someone at office 2 kept trying to explain to me how much money I spent on classes last quarter, which really had nothing to do with what I was trying to accomplish there. I think some of those people really are incompetent. So after that I left. You can't get your bus sticker without having paid for the quarter, but I'm beginning to worry that somehow, they ended up giving me the sticker without actually entering in that I had paid. I worry that I'm going to show up and discover I'm not in that class. I said earlier in the year that the registration process at EDCC is a lot easier than the one at SCCC, but I'm finding that their payment system is a little harder.

Ending Music: Death And Destruction; by Weezer

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  posted by Tristan @ 9:29 AM



 
STYX

Mood: Amused
Music: Clint Eastwood; by Gorillaz

Stompy's forums have become a river of flame, and it's flowing in my direction. It's really hilarious, actually. I mean, these people hate me and my comic enough to just start openly insulting me. The really funny thing is, I don't even actually know any of those people. What's more amusing is, most of them are devoid of valid arguments. There's a few people who have said things like, "you're artwork sucks", and I can see their point. But most of them just say "It's a pile of hippo manure." That's not true in any sense of the word. I've been to the zoo, I've seen hippo manure, so I can tell the difference. Even more amusing, the guy who called my comic a "pile of hippo manure" also said he was hoping for intelligent discourse and rebuttals about the merits of my comic. And then he called it a pile of hippo manure. Yeah, that's pretty intelligent discourse. Of course, none of these people have had the brilliant idea of just not reading Hard Underbelly if they don't like it. That's what most people do when they don't like something: they just stop exposing themselves to it.

UPDATE: It turns out that PixelPrincess' forums are under organized attack by the losers at some forum called ssboard. I read their little 'call to arms' post in which they planned their invasion. It turns out I'm some kind of primary target for them. I think I'm like the Ace of Spades in their invasion deck. It gives me a warm, tingly sensation to know that. It's kind of like being a movie star.

You may be wondering, why are you posting stuff about this argument here? Well I'll tell you why: you guys don't talk back to me.

Ending Music: Pacify; by Rumpus

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  posted by Tristan @ 4:19 PM


Thursday, June 19, 2003  

 
BIG-ASS POST

Mood: Warm and Fuzzy
Music: Life in a Glass House; by Radiohead

There is much to talk about.

First, I took a ride in Caleb's new Passat. It is a sweet piece of car. It's got the leather interior, six cd stereo, the works. And it's coolest feature is probably the fact that the engine looks more like a hard drive than something you'd expect to find in a car.

Second, I am fond of hanging out in Stompy's forums. Some people started ragging on me about Hard Underbelly, and I was returning fire, refuting their arguments as best I could. It had been a fairly localized skirmish in the threads, untill three people told me that, basically, my comic and I are cool, and the other people are just petty haters. So I'm now feeling all warm and fuzzy. You like me, you really like me!

Finally, I've got a little philosophical argument that's been going in my head for a while. It's kind of rambling and confusing, but I'll do my best to have it make sense here:

Theory one: A person that is "insane" is operating from an abnormal mindset. They do not view the world and morality as the rest of us do.

If this is the case, the question of evil is confusing. It puts a whole new slant on the standard idea of a "bad guy" or "villain". I mean, all criminals are logically insane. They don't view the world the same way we do. Somehow, they see the world in such a light that it makes it okay for them to knock over liqour stores, rape people, kill people, rob banks, etc. I mean, I can't see ever doing those things. To me, they are crazy. So by my own personal moral mindset, and one which I'm sure others probably have as well, anyone who commits a crime is crazy.

And we have this thing called the insanity defense. So if all criminals are crazy (operating from an abnormal mindset that allows for a lack of moral stops), shouldn't all criminals be automatically eligible for the insanity defense?

Now, I'm not advocating the insanity defense for all criminals, it's just that it logically plays out that way. I firmly believe in, for instance, the death penalty. I think all people who commit certain crimes, especcially sexual crimes, should get the death penalty. Or at least life in prison. The way I see it, if you do these things to another human being, sorry, you've lost your privelages. You don't get to interact with society anymore. Ever.

It's just that in my head, I can't help but see all people who commit these crimes as insane. I mean, their minds just don't work the same way.

As a small addendum in the case of murders, I am excluding things like death in the course of self-defense, involuntary manslaughter, and, because I have my own little bits of flexible morality, revenge killings for especially heinous crimes. I would not necessarily believe people in these situations to be crazy.

Ending Music: Poor Edward; by Tom Waits

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  posted by Tristan @ 11:57 AM



 
RANDOM ACTS OF VIOLINS

Mood: Perplexed
Music: If I Had $1000000; by Barenaked Ladies

So I was sitting here at my computer, getting some stuff ready for Friday's comic. I turn and look out my window. No particular reason, I just felt like doing it. I was looking across the parking lot. I looked past it, and into the now vacant lot, where over the past month, a building had been demolished and replaced with a large dirt lot. That's all there's been there since. I vacant dirt lot. But not anymore. No, now there is a fire hydrant there. A single fire hydrant, in the middle of dirt lot roughly the size of a soccer field. It's just sitting there all alone. A lone fire hydrant and dirt. It looks totally bizarre. It clearly has no place there.

Caleb just got back with his new car, a '99 Passat, I think it is. It looks nice. I hope he emptied the glove compartment of his old car before trading it in, 'cause I think I had a CD in there.

Ending Music: Let Down; by Radiohead

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  posted by Tristan @ 4:39 PM


Wednesday, June 18, 2003  

 
DEAR CITIZENS OF HARD UNDERBELLYANIA

Mood: Kind of Bored
Music: Eve Of Destruction; by Bishop Allen

As a reward for your years of loyal service, I shall now reward you with this picture of kitties:



These cats are named, from top to bottom, Coby the Cobra and Big Daddy.

I think Ferdinand is plotting against me. It's the way he just sits there, not moving, never saying anything. It's unnatural.

Ending Music: Seven Nation Army; by the White Stripes

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  posted by Tristan @ 12:48 PM



 
LIVING AWAY FROM HOME MEANS NEVER HAVING TO DELETE THE PORN FROM YOUR BROWSER'S HISTORY TRAIL

Mood: Awake
Music: Girl You Have No Faith In Medicine; by the White Stripes

It has been a good birthday. I basically spent the day lazing about the house with my friends, playing videogames and watching tv. So in that respect, I suppose my birthday was no different than say, well, any other Tuesday.

I received many cool things. I've got a WarCraft 3 expansion set preorder. I got Elephant, by the White Stripes. I was given my very first personal houseplant. Which is to say, there are houseplants in the apartment already, but this is the first one that is actually mine. He has been named Ferdinand, and placed atop my stereo. Some time during the night, he moved over to the dresser and ate that bag of miracle grow that I was saving for a special occasion, but I won't hold it against him.

I was also given a huge bag of candy. I've already eaten all of the Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. They are like cheaply produced ambrosia.

There is also a new comic up, which is something I usually mention at the beginning of a news post, but I was still on a post-birthday party buzz. And yet again, just to prove how much of a geek I am, the beverages available at my party were water, coke, and sprite. Alcohol was consumed, but only at a restaurant, and it was purchased by a legal adult, who did not drive afterwards. My friends and I are such goody-goodies.

I caught the episode of MTV Cribs where they went to the Playboy mansion. For someone who's got like, seven girlfriends, Hugh Hefner has bad taste. They're all really fake looking blondes. If I had a harem, I'd go for a lot more variety. But you know, I guess Hef is a pretty shamelessly superficial guy, so I can't really fault him.

Ending Music: Dry The Rain; by the Beta Band

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  posted by Tristan @ 10:29 AM



 
GREAT DAYS IN HISTORY: JUNE 17TH, 1983

Mood: Good
Music: Punchdrunk Lovesick Singalong; by Radiohead

As of 2:00 am this morning, I am 20 years old. I've laways liked that I was born at two in the morning. I find it amusing that I started my life by seriously inconveniencing everyone. Ira, the poor midwife, had to get his ass out of bed at two in the morning. Ha ha. I think I may be evil.

In the "Karma comes back to get ya" file:

"PHOENIX--The Roman Catholic bishop of Phoenix was arrested Monday in a deadly hit-and-run accident after police traced a license plate number to his car and found the windshield caved in...

...O'Brien made headlines earlier this month when it was announced that he relinquished some of his authority in an unprecedented agreement with prosecutors that spared him from indictment on obstruction charges for protecting child-molesting priests."


See what happens when you protect the scum of the earth? You accidentally kill someone and then you get what's coming to you.

Ending Music: Rebel Prince; by Rufus Wainwright

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  posted by Tristan @ 8:45 AM


Tuesday, June 17, 2003  

 
MR. CLEAN

Mood: Fairly Productive
Music: Lizzy; by Ben Kweller

The new comic is finally up. It was late for many reasons. The first reason is, I didn't even get home until about noon today. The second reason was, well... Lauryth and I were watching an Angel DVD. But the third reason is my scanner would not scan. I discovered that the problem was that, sometime while cleaning my room, I accidentally bumped it into the 'locked' position, which is there to keep the photocel from rattling around while you're transporting the scanner. Anyway, I finally got that all done, so the new comic is finally up! Seriously.

Once again, my mom's house was boring.

I am tired and a little hungry.

I can't find my CD that I burned those Air songs onto.

That lump in my left testicle is just getting bigger and bigger.

Okay, I made that last one up, but really, I don't have that many reasons to complain. It's my birthday tomorrow.

Ending Music: Wrecking Ball; by Harvey Danger

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  posted by Tristan @ 6:02 PM


Monday, June 16, 2003  

 
HIT THE TOWN ON FRIDAY NIGHT, STAY IN BED UNTIL SUNDAY

Mood: Tired
Music: Walking On The Moon; by Sting & The Police

I'm at my mom's house for the weekend. I've been doing stuff. Tiring stuff. Like yardwork. On Friday night I had to make energy cookies. Seriously, my mom paid me to do it. Unfortunately, my mom only had one cookie sheet and a pizza pan. And there were tons of nuts and fruits and stuff that had to be chopped and sliced. So these cookies took forever to make and bake. I was up till, like, midnight making these goddamned cookies. And I started at nine. Three damn hours to make one measely batch of cookies. On the plus side, they are delicious.

I saw the rerun of the Al Gore SNL on tv last night. I really respect Al's willingness to be the butt of some jokes. If you haven't seen the episode, I highly recommend tracking down a copy.

Anyway, my mom's house is probably the dullest place on earth. So just yesterday, I drew Monday's comic. But I was still bored. So I drew the next Not All There for the Ticket, a good week ahead of schedule. This did not cure me of my boredom, so I went ahead and drew Wednesday's and Friday's Hard Underbelly's as well. That's how goddamned bored I am. Sometimes drawing is like pulling teeth for me. But when I come here, I'm so mind-numbingly bored, there's nothing to do but draw. The only downside is, drawing as long as I end up doing so here puts a serious crick in my neck.

I'll be going home on Monday, swinging by the DMV to pick up a new license, and then home. Once I get home I'll scan and add the text to the comic, and put it up. So it really should be up late Monday/early Tuesday, depending on how Keenspace's servers are acting.

Ending Music: Roxanne; by Sting & The Police

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  posted by Tristan @ 12:35 PM


Sunday, June 15, 2003  

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