Hard Underbelly  

The official news spot for Hard Underbelly.


Mood: Productive
Music: It's Summertime; by the Flaming Lips

Okay, the pictures from the Guerrilla Masquerade Party I went to on Saturday are finally up. You can view them here. Of particular interest are photos number 14, 15, and 20, as those are the ones that feature me in my priest costume, as well as my friend Heather, the naughty nurse.

Here's a little write-up on the night:

I put on the priest costume and headed downtown by bus. Let me tell you, if you think telling bums you have no spare change is hard, try doing it in a priest's outfit. Anyway, I went and met Heather at the Yakima Bar and Grill, the only bar that I go to with any regularity, which means, really, about five times in the last three months. I am not a drinker. To recap, the point of this event is that people all dress up in costume, that night's theme being "childhood trauma", and then invade a bar that has no prior warning of our plans. Heather informed me, after I was already downtown and wearing a white collar, that we were going to Manray, a Capitol Hill gay bar that is the exact nexus of bar and club, in that it's got a big bar that makes it impossible to dance in the otherwise clubby atmosphere.

We had a couple of Jameson and Coke's, a drink Heather is partial to that has passed on to me. We had our good friend the bartender invent me a drink called 'the Altar Boy'. I don't remember what he put in it other than the whipped cream on top, but it was delicious. Even better than the mudslide, otherwise my favorite shot. We hung out there untill 10:30, not wanting to be the first one's to arrive.

Of course, by the time we'd gotten to Manray, which is only a few minute's walk, we were still the first to be there. So we settled in near the bathrooms to wait for others. Heather had to go to the loo, and even though one of the doors said it was for women, there were just as many men in there as in the men's. I'm pretty used to being hit on by gays at bars, I seem to attract them. This night was different for one very special reason: all the guys hit on Heather. They seemed to think that she was a very talented cross-dresser. (I later heard that Manray is considered the tranny gay bar, but there really weren't that many around) We kept hearing "Oh! Honey, you should work cruises! You're good!" It was hilarious. The guy with the most compliment's was pretty drunk. He didn't talk as if he was really that drunk, but neither one of his eyes was capable of looking in the right direction. In all seriousness, being in a gay bar is surprisingly relaxing, as I feel absolutely no pressure to try and hook up with someone.

It was nearing 11:00, and we thought we might just give up and go somewhere else, when we spied more people in costume near the front door. So we went up there. At that point Heather dispatched me to the bar to get us some drinks. While standing in the short but still time consuming line, I chatted up the guy in front of me. I don't really know why, probably just boredom. I don't know if anyone has told the homosexuals this, but they're paying way to much for booze. I bought a Jameson 'n' Coke for Heather and a Kamikaze for myself, and the total price was $15.25. 15 bucks for two drinks. Insane. After that, we resolved not to get anything else to drink, as it was prohibitively expensive.

While I was waiting for my drink to be made, I spied an old friend from middle school across the bar. I'm not kidding. I looked around for him after that, but didn't see him untill later, while hanging out near the front window and seeing him leave. I ran outside to say hi. Apparently it was his birthday. We exchanged a few words, after which I realized to distinct things: 1) I may not have been exactly clear as to why I was at Manray, and he may now think that I'm gay. Eh, what're you gonna do? 2) I was sloppy drunk. I'd like to apologize for my behavior, but I really don't see him, well, at all, so I guess I won't be able.

I spent most of the night by the front window, making obscene gestures and flirting with the guys still waiting to get in.

Since the drinks were too expensive and I had to work in the morning, I planned to head out around 12:30. Besides, if it's too expensive to drink, and you can't dance, and don't like guys, there's really very little for a hetero guy to do at a gay bar. Heather wanted me to stay and close the place, but I could already tell that the Guerrilla Masquerade was never going to have enough numbers to really take over, so I refused. For various reasons, Heather went to the busstop with me so she could go home to. Most of those reasons revolve around the fact that she was wearing a vinyl nurses outfit that barely covered her unmentionables, making travelling home alone a less than safe prospect. On the way, Heather told me the story of yet another one of her male friends who has started hitting on her all the time. It's sad. Heather can't seem to have guy friends without it getting complicated. I'm one of three male friends she's had in her almost 28 year-long life that has not ever tried to kiss her. I'm good at platonic.

Anyway, that's pretty much the whole night. Take a look at the pics. I'm wearing a really cool suit.

In some Hard Underbelly news, I've got comics all through Monday finished. Monday is the start of chapter five, and I've already got a special banner all set to run over the weekend. Yay.

Ending Music: Sometimes; by My Bloody Valentine

-----------------Over, Out--------------------

  posted by Tristan @ 10:21 PM

Wednesday, August 11, 2004  

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